So Long Dear Friend. I’d Do It Again. Every Time.

Getting a pet is one of the most unfathomable things we can do. We bring a creature into our house. We put pictures of them up everywhere. Many of us let them sleep in our beds and on our couches. We call them family. If someone asks me how many kids I have, I usually bring up that I have two dogs in addition to my human child.

And despite all that, we carry a secret deep inside of us. We are aware of it from the moment that we walk them into our house for that first time. The odds are that we will see this beautiful thing die. Despite all the joy and laughs that come with a new pet, if you’ve ever experienced the death of a beloved pet before, you know in the back of your mind that one day, you will pay the price for it all with weeks and even years of extreme sadness.

When I brought Chester to my college apartment on July 29th, 2009, for the first time, I didn’t have much time to think about these things. Chester was a surprise 21st birthday gift for a depressed college kid. I didn’t have time to think about existentialism. I had to figure out how to take care of this living creature that I was suddenly responsible for.

Back then, I had many days when I wouldn’t get out of bed for hours and hours. Life was a struggle for me in many ways at that point. But Chester didn’t know or care about that. He was a beagle puppy with endless amounts of energy. After a good night of sleep cuddling in my arms, Chester wanted to be up and at ’em as early as 6AM. I couldn’t languish in bed and be sad anymore. I had a dog to take care of. He wanted walks and lots of them. Chester got me moving and outside more than ever. He made friends wherever he went and got endless compliments from strangers. Getting outside, staying active, and seeing the smiles he put on peoples faces all gave me a level of confidence in myself that I really needed at that point. From day one, Chester helped heal me.

And he didn’t just help me either. My mom had no desire to ever have a dog again after dealing with the painful loss of her beloved German Shepherd over a year before Chester arrived. She wasn’t thrilled to find out that a surprise dog would suddenly be living at her house from time to time. That all changed within seconds of her first meeting with Chester. Chester’s cuteness won her over immediately. Not long after I moved out, my mom adopted a senior dog of her own and has adopted another dog since. Chester’s influence helped two dogs find a home that were having a hard time finding someone who would adopt them.

Somehow, two different neighbors over the course of Chester’s life had recently lost beagles a little bit before Chester entered their life. Chester ended up practically being adopted by these neighbors and would spend entire days and nights at these houses sometimes. Eventually, these neighbors also adopted dogs of their own. Once again, Chester’s relentless charm helped heal people and helped other dogs in the end.

That charm was one of my favorite parts about Chester. Beagles are often put up for adoption because the people who get them can’t deal with how loud they are. For whatever reason, Chester’s extreme volume has always been one of my favorite parts about him. When friends came over that he hadn’t seen in a few weeks or months, Chester would start howling up an absolute storm. Almost like he was yelling at them for not visiting more often. Seeing that pure love and affection Chester had for literally every human being always brought a smile to my face, even if I’m sure he annoyed a few neighbors along the way.

I also loved wrestling with him. I loved cuddling with him while I gamed. Nothing beat falling asleep with him in my arms. I loved the boundless energy he had on walks. Yes, beagles can be a lot of work. But by god, they pay it back with a level of love that is difficult to match.

I knew that these days wouldn’t last forever. I saw Chester slow down in very minor ways over the years. But he was still a strong, healthy dog. And I was always so proud and happy to have him in my life. The energy, the cuddles, the love, the volume. I loved everything about him.

I started worrying about Chester’s health around the age of 10. We started noticing that when he would get particularly excited for food or anything else, he would start getting a nasty cough. After a vet visit, our worst fears were confirmed. Chester had a heart condition. The vet told us that dogs don’t usually last much more than 1-2 years when this happens. This devastated me. I was not ready. This is the dog that healed me. This dog was there when I needed him most. Now, it was time to do what I could for him.

Thanks to the research my wife did, we changed his diet and took him to a pet cardiologist. This cardiologist got him on medication that suddenly changed his life. He didn’t cough anymore when he got excited. We were so happy that he had a new lease on life.

When Chester made it to 15 earlier this year, a weird mix of relief and fear washed over me. On one hand, it was a miracle that he was this age now, which is about the maximum age a beagle gets to. On the other hand, this means the thing I had dreaded for a long time was likely soon to come.

I tried to tell myself that Chester making it to 15 would make it easier. I had done literally everything I could do for him. I had given him just about anything in life that a dog could ask for. We went on walks every day, sometimes for hours, at all sorts of places. We had specifically moved to houses with fenced-in yards so that he could sprint and play as much as he wanted. He went on several vacations with us at properties a few hours north. We got another dog that became one of his best friends. He was there when I came home after getting married. He was there to greet my baby daughter when I bought her home for the first time. This dog had done it all and had seen just about every major milestone in my life. When I look back at almost anything important in my life, I can remember how Chester was there in one capacity or another.

I can safely say I have no regrets about Chester’s life. Even his death left me with no regrets. We made the difficult decision that it was time this past Monday and then spent the past week giving him everything in the world he could possibly want. We did every stroller walk we could think of. He saw all the people that meant the most to him this week, including my brother, my mom, and one of our old neighbors. He had Mcdonald’s today. He had the best last week any dog could have.

And despite all that, it still hurts. It hurts more than I can imagine. My eyes sting from tears that have not stopped, and my heart has a hole that feels as though it will never be mended.

As he passed peacefully in my arms at our house (I can not recommend Lap of Love for their services enough), all I could think about was how I held him that first time I ever got him. I thought about falling asleep with him that first night. I thought about how hard his tail wagged when he saw my daughter for the first time. I remembered how he made me feel alive when I was at my lowest.

I have no regrets. But that was still my best friend. And it’s not fair.

But we know from day one that this is how it will be. Signing up for this is absolutely ridiculous. It’s insane.

If you told me that I could go back and save myself from all this pain, I would still say no, though. I’d sign up all over again. What that dog gave me cannot properly be quantified. He gave me all that he had and then some. How could I refuse that gift?

In fact, I know that I will sign up for this all over again one day. In honor of Chester, I will always adopt beagles for the rest of my life, as they often need good homes more than almost any other breed.

Yes, the pain is fresh and real, but so was the love. So was the joy.

I’ll take the way I feel today and thousands more to experience the happiness that Chester made me feel. If you are someone who is scared to take the plunge into pet ownership because of this, believe me when I say that it is a cost worth paying.

Because for Chester, I’d do it again. Every time.