One of the strangest things about the weeks and months after a dog passes away are the inevitable questions that come afterward. Namely, “When do you think you’ll get another dog?”
It’s an odd thing to ponder in that moment. It feels like thinking about when you might marry again weeks after a spouse passes away.
The reality is, though, that it is something you start thinking about not long after a dog passes away. I said from the moment that my beloved dog Chester passed away that my intention was to only get beagles going forward. This was my way of honoring a dog that truly changed my life. Also, I had just grown to love the breed. But I wasn’t sure when it would happen. I wasn’t sure when it would be right. I wanted time to grieve, and I wanted my heart to be in a place where it could fully love this new dog.
The problem with this is that you are never quite ready for a new dog after losing one that you truly loved. Even if you think you are, you probably aren’t. Luckily, dogs are so great that even if you aren’t quite in the right place for a new one, it’s easy enough to fall in love all over again. Even if the journey there can be a bit complicated.
Excitement, Love, And Finality
After 5 months of sitting with the loss of Chester, I was beginning to think about having another dog again. I felt like I was healing, and there was an emptiness in the house since he had passed that I really wanted to fill. I missed having a beagle that would snuggle in bed or lay with me while I played video games. I felt bad that our 10 year old Yorkie, Delilah, was alone at the house sometimes when she had Chester as a companion for her entire life. I even missed the occasional howling outburst that a beagle can provide. After reflecting on it for a bit and discussing it with my wife, we decided it was the right time to start looking again.
After a fair bit of searching, a friend sent me a beagle that seemed perfect. Her name was Daisy, and she was described as a relatively chill and cuddly beagle. She was also 5 years old and obviously already housetrained. With a 3 year-old child in our house and another baby on the way this summer, a more relaxed dog seemed like the ideal fit for us.
My wife and I happened to have a little weekend getaway planned right when I discovered Daisy, so we contacted the rescue and planned to meet her the day we got back from that trip.
My entire flight home was a very odd experience. I was filled with excitement. But also, some other feelings that I couldn’t quite place. Probably some nerves, as I really wanted this to work out, but also, something else.
As we landed and then began the hourish drive to the rescue, I started to realize these other feelings that were hitting me. It was grief. It was a feeling of finality. There’s a reason that holidays are so hard for those who have lost a loved one. Every milestone and big moment are often reminders that the one you loved is gone. My long drive to get Daisy was the biggest reminder since I had brought Chester’s ashes home that he was gone, and he was never coming back. I stifled my tears. There was a mix of excitement and heaviness in me. It was a combination of emotions that I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before.
Upon arriving at the home where Daisy was at, she didn’t take long to climb onto my lap and force her head under my chin. She then proceeded to just sit with me for several minutes. I hugged her for what felt like forever. It was a familiar feeling. The last time that I had hugged a beagle, it was when I held Chester for that last time. Now, I was holding a different beagle for the first time, and I was immediately sure that this would be my new best friend for the next decade to come. It was an easy decision to bring her home that very moment, but things were, of course, still a bit complicated.
A Very Stupid Revelation
After my first day and a half with Daisy at home, I came to a very stupid revelation. Bringing a new dog home is really hard work. I was a bit naive as I drove Daisy home that afternoon. I was excited to get to know her more, to cuddle with her, to give her a walk. I didn’t anticipate many issues because I knew damn well how to take care of a beagle. And since Daisy was 5 and not some crazy puppy, I figured that it would be easy work. This was incredibly dumb.
Bringing a new dog home, even one that is relatively trained, is probably always going to be tricky. First off, this dog is suddenly in a completely new environment. That is obvious, but it’s pretty crazy when you think about it. Any dog you bring home from a rescue/foster or anywhere else suddenly goes from one life to having a completely different one. New smells. New people. New dogs. New routines, etc. And it’s not something they expect or plan for either. It makes sense that it is disorienting. It has to be a very weird experience.
You also start learning about the dog’s quirks very quickly, all at once, while they are also disoriented from being in a new place. This led to a lot of stressful situations that were almost comical at times.
Daisy was drinking an insane amount of water in her first week at our house. Once again, this was probably a byproduct of nerves and being in a new home. This was leading to lots of pee accidents. It also turns out that Daisy really loves eating her own poop. She is also a bit of an escape artist and found openings in my fence that I didn’t know were there. One of the first days we had her, we discovered a pee accident, so we let her out immediately. While that accident was being cleaned up, we realized that she had gotten into the neighbors yard. It was funny in retrospect, but it was also a lot. My wife and I had to slowly work on a few things with Daisy, as well as adjust to some of her little quirks. Doing this with a three-year old child and while we are currently preparing for another child was not always easy.
During one of these sequences, I came to a revelation. EVERY dog has some stupid quirks. You just don’t always even realize the quirks are there because you are so used to them or know how to deal with them. Chester did several things that were very obnoxious, but I knew how to navigate around them. Chester’s favorite place in the world to lay was right where I go to sleep at night. He did this despite the fact that I would move him every night out of the way when I went to bed. That isn’t a huge deal, but Chester would actually growl at me pretty loudly when I moved him, sometimes waking my wife up (he never got aggressive, but he would show his displeasure). This really sucked, but I was just used to it after years and years. I also couldn’t take him anywhere near any dog bigger than him, as he would growl at them, probably because he was mad about being smaller than them. His begging was also absolutely terrible if he sensed weakness around someone who was eating. Chester was not an easy dog to have sometimes, but I was very used to all of his bullshit after 15 years.
This revelation gave me perspective. I knew that things would get better. Sure enough, slowly, they have. Daisy’s accidents are now minimal. I found all of her escape points in my backyard and fixed them. We are still working on the eating poop thing, but we will get there. She is also getting along a lot better with our Yorkie after having a few spats with her early on as they felt each other out.
My New Best Friend
But even through all these difficulties, Daisy is one of the easiest dogs in the world to love. She loves cuddles so much that she just presses her face into you, and it is absolutely adorable. She has a “purr” noise that she makes when she’s happy or when she wants more love, which is incredibly cute. She also seems to really love people and has been absolutely phenomenal with my young daughter.
My favorite part about Daisy is how she completely melts in my arms. Every dog I’ve ever had hates being in my arms like a baby. Daisy relishes it. She almost goes limp when she is in my arms, especially when I’m sitting down with her. I can even rock her like a baby, and she won’t move a muscle or get the least bit nervous. I’ll never understand how a dog that was originally rescued from a home where she was kept outside overnight in the middle of winter could have that much trust for humans, but she does. That kind of love and trust in the face of a world that hasn’t always been fair to Daisy is absolutely beautiful to me.
Daisy’s backstory is another reason why I just love having her in my home and why I will only ever adopt a dog going forward. Every time I look at her, I think about her past and how hard it must have been. I think about the fact that this is her fourth home, and after all that, this will finally be her forever home. It gives me a sense of pride that is difficult to match.
It’s also wonderful for me to think that the reason that this specific dog now has a home that she can live in for the rest of her life is because of the impact that Chester had on my life.
Chester’s legacy for me is that I always wanted beagles going forward. Daisy’s will be that I will always adopt dogs and encourage others to do so. Because it is genuinely one of the best feelings in the world to do so.
When I think about the fact that this dog has a home, and I have this new love in part because of him, things don’t feel so complicated anymore. They just feel right. It feels easy.
One of the craziest parts about having a dog is the journey you go on together. You develop a relationship, and over 10-15 years, your life changes dramatically. My life was insanely different from 21, when I got Chester, to when I turned 36 and he passed away.
What will my life be when I’m 46 and Daisy is 15? What will our relationship look like at that point? I can’t say yet. I’m sure many unexpected things will happen before we get there. But I’m so excited to find out together.
Big Nerd Gaming 
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