When you become a parent, there’s a whole lot of things that people don’t tell you. Mostly, people have a hard time describing exactly how hard it can be. They don’t tell you about how difficult it is to do all the things you have to do on a given day, but with way less sleep. They don’t tell you about the constant paranoia you will feel about something bad happening to your child. They don’t tell you that half the advice you are going to get might not apply to your child in the slightest.
But people also don’t always properly describe how beautiful it can be as well. The joy you feel at the smallest things. The way a little hug can make every other problem melt away. How awesome it is watching them interact with the things that you love. It’s a very cool experience in so many ways.
Another very weird and unexpected side effect of becoming a parent is that a lot of media gets significantly better. Becoming a parent is the most significant thing that has happened in my life, and I imagine the vast majority of parents feel the same way. Well, it’s also the most significant moment in the lives of the people who write video games, movies, tv, books, etc. Thus, these people like to write about parenthood, or at least throw in some themes relating to it.
All of a sudden, all of these games with themes and moments that I might have found touching or interesting suddenly take on a significantly higher meaning. I’ve still never cried when playing a video game, but I have gotten a whole lot closer than ever before in the past 3+ years. It’s crazy how often I end up thinking about my daughter when experiencing various stories in video games. Sometimes, this seems to be the clear intention of the writer, and sometimes, it just kind of happens because I think about my daughter all the time.
You are reading this piece today because my second daughter was born this past week. In celebration, I pre-wrote some “paternity content” of sorts while I spend some time with my new little one. These are my top 10 games that I’ve played since becoming a father that were enhanced because of themes about parenthood that meant a lot to me. Once I’m gaming more again, I can’t wait to discover if these themes are now doubly more emotional with two kids!
10. It Takes Two
It Takes Two is a co-op game about two parents who fight a lot and are headed to divorce. It gets weird after that, but that is the gist of it. The game kicks off with the parents sitting their daughter down to tell them that they are going to split up. The daughter gets up right away and starts hatching plans to keep them together, but every time you see the pain in her face and voice about this, it absolutely killed me. I never plan on getting divorced, but the game really puts into context how much of a bigger deal divorce becomes after you have kids.
That isn’t the only aspect of the game that touches on parenthood. There are scenes where you see the love that the parents have for their child, and one scene where they show a clear lack of empathy for their child that lives in infamy to me for this day. Before kids, I think a lot of these scenes still would have hit, but within the context of being a parent, they hit even harder.
9. Tales of Kenzera: ZAU
Tales of Kenzera: ZAU isn’t a story from a father’s perspective. It’s a story about a son who goes on a quest to bring his father back to life after he passes away. I could have easily related to the game either way, as I have a lot of love for my own father and can understand the place Zau is at when he sets out on his journey.
But inevitably, as a dad, it’s also interesting to experience the emotional resonance from both sides. While you do not see Zau’s father, I can imagine how hard it must be to watch your child go through grief. The game made me think about how I would feel when my daughters go through something difficult, and it’s hard to even think about. Tales of Kenzera: ZAU isn’t a perfect video game, but it delivers on its themes very well.
8. Until Then
Like several on the list, this is one I don’t want to dive too deep on, as this is a story heavy game. Until Then isn’t necessarily about parenthood, as it’s a game about high schoolers going through usual high schooler things, but parents or lack thereof play a big role in the game.
Our main character, Mark, lives in an empty home in the Phillipines. Both of his parents currently live in the United States in order to put their family on a better financial path. The consequence is obviously that they aren’t able to live with their son.
Once again, I don’t want to go too deep, but one flashback in the game really got to me. We see the parents struggling with finances multiple times, which leads to them making the decision to go abroad for work. You can see the struggles of being poor, but you can also see that these things don’t seem to bother Mark as much. He is just happy to have his family. The balance between work and spending time with family is a difficult one for any working parent. Inevitably, almost any decision that leads to more money is probably going to lead to less family time. Figuring out that correct balance is a constant struggle, and I appreciated how the game tackled this.
7. Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
Expedition 33 is another game that I don’t want to get overly into for spoiler reasons, but there are many themes related to parenthood that made certain plot points hit on very interesting and profound levels.
Specifically, being a father made certain elements of the society of Lumiere hit that much harder. The game touches on the impossible task of becoming a parent in a doomed world. There are several conversations and situations that pop up throughout the game where you see the internal struggle that all of those who wish to become parents go through.
Becoming a parent is simultaneously one of the most selfless and selfish things you can do. Giving someone life is a beautiful thing. We all owe our lives to someone who made the decision to become a parent. But it is also a selfish one. It’s an act of extreme optimism. We do not know where the world will be in 50 years. We do not know if something will happen that makes our child’s life unhappy. There’s a lot of risk in many regards when bringing a child into this world.
In Expedition 33, that risk is on another level. Those who give life are almost assuredly dooming their children to an early death, and likely setting them on a path where they will not have their parents for most of their lives. It feels cruel. Yet, without those willing to take the chance, the world is inevitably going to end. What a brutal situation, and it resonated with me so much personally.
6. Closer the Distance
Closer the Distance is a narrative Sims type game about a community who is grieving for a teenage girl who died recently. The game allows you to peek in on everyone in the community, just like in a Sims game, but there is a lot more story attached. The game is powerful in many ways, but being able to peek in on the deceased girl’s parents was consistently haunting on another level now that I am a parent.
One scene in particular still sits with me months later, as the mom slowly walks into her room, closes the door, and then starts crying her eyes out all alone. This moment is one you could easily miss, but that makes it hit even harder. The mom can be unreasonable in a plethora of ways that I think I would have found to be annoying, but playing it when I did, I got it. This is a very powerful video game, especially as a parent.
5. Death Stranding
Death Stranding is a weird one to talk about. I don’t want to go into many details because the game goes in a lot of surprising directions. But I will say that the game centers around the relationship between Sam and a “bridge baby,” Lou. In this very fucked up world, bridge babies are not to be viewed as people, but as equipment. Sam goes against this, and continues to form a bond with Lou throughout the game.
Playing this game with a child is a very funny experience, as when the baby cries in the game, you wonder if it’s your own baby you hear crying in the distance. I think anyone can connect with the story of Death Stranding, but I was never someone with much of an interest in babies before I had one. Having that connection with my child made it a lot easier for me to connect with Lou in the game on a different level. There are also many other things in the game I will not talk about that truly touched me when thinking about my own child.
4. Gris
Gris is a story about a daughter mourning her mother and going through the stages of grief. My daughter isn’t very old yet, but when you are a parent, you dream about the future a lot. I constantly think about what my now two daughters will be like when they are older. I think about how special of a relationship they might have with their mother down the road.
It’s those dreams that make Gris so heartbreaking for me. One of the biggest elements of parenthood that can be devastating is when your child goes through something terrible. I won’t be here when my children have to deal with me being gone, but thinking about what they would be dealing with hurts a lot, as I know what I’ll deal with when I go through the same one day. Gris takes this theme and runs with it in one of the most beautiful ways I have ever seen. One moment near the end will live on with me forever. This is such a lovely game. I would relate with it either way, but relating to it from both sides made it another level of special for me.
3. Final Fantasy 7: Rebirth
One of my favorite things to say about Rebirth is that “it is for the dads.” Obviously, this is somewhat tongue in cheek. I loved the heck out of the original game as a teenager. But the game touches on parenting themes that are very surprising for a JRPG from the era that Final Fantasy 7 was originally made. Back then, almost every JRPG protagonist tended to be teens or very young adults (matching the general player base). But Rebirth takes things to another level, and makes the dad in the group, Barrett, a centerpiece in even more big plot moments with his “daughter” Marlene, and also in some random side conversations during side quests and navigation.
The game also has a massive plot moment with Red XIII involving his dad that I found to be one of the most powerful in the entire game. These moments were mostly in the original game, but I feel like they are expanded on in nice ways in Rebirth. Plus, the voice acting and visuals put these moments on another level. Rebirth isn’t actually for the dads, but well, maybe it is a little bit. A lot of us are a lot older than when we played the game the first time, and I think the developers purposely played into that.
2. God of War: Ragnarok
The centerpiece of the new God of War games is Kratos transforming from a bad person into a good one. The way he finds that path is almost entirely through the lens of love and fatherhood. It’s an extreme example, but one that is entirely relatable. I don’t think I’m a fundamentally different person from before, but there is an inevitable transformation that happens you have an absolute love and responsibility for another. God of War (2018) saw the start of this growth for Kratos, and Ragnarök completes it. Kratos is a completely different person at the end of Ragnarök compared to the start of the 2018 game, and it’s a beautiful journey to witness.
1. The Last of Us
One of the greatest games about fatherhood ever features a story about two people who are not related by blood. The relationship between Elle and Joel undergoes some fascinating transformations over the course of this journey. Even if you aren’t a parent, as I wasn’t when I first played it, it’s an undoubtedly powerful and emotional story.
Experiencing it all over again as a father a few years ago really just gave the experience that extra context that made it even better for me. I’ve always felt like Joel made the correct decision at the end of the game for a variety of reasons. But with a child of my own, that decision became even more of a no-brainer. It’s one of the greatest stories in all of video games, and I’m so glad I decided to experience it again as a father.
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