Back when I was 25, I was enjoying my life in many ways. After some tumultuous times in my early 20s, it felt like everything was heading in a really good direction. I spent several years not exactly sure what I would do with my life after I realized that my college major of journalism was not going to work for me. But now, I finally had a path, and I was the happiest that I had been in a long time.
But there was one thing missing. Despite being 25, I still had never found my way into anything that I would call a “serious” relationship. I rarely worried too much about this, but I was getting to a point in life where it was starting to concern me. At the very least, it seemed like an important life milestone that I should experience sooner rather than later. I could also see a world where telling a girl that I had never had an “official” girlfriend could be a red flag for them at this point in life.
It wasn’t long after I started thinking about this a bit more that I ended up with the woman who is now my wife. My first serious relationship ended up being the only one I’ve ever had. And no, it wasn’t because I was starting to have a mid-20s life crisis.
It’s funny for me to think back on what my thought process was in that time now that I’m far enough removed to think about it in a more neutral way. At that moment, I thought that there might be something wrong with me. I thought that I might be too selfish and too afraid of commitment to “settle down.”
But now, when I think back, I realize that this obviously wasn’t true. I had zero problems being committed to my wife from the moment we had our first date. I was all-in immediately.
I definitely had at least a few chances to be in a more serious relationship over the years (being 6’3 can occasionally draw interest from the opposite sex, NOT TO SOUND COCKY). I was also rejected the very few times I did make a true attempt to date someone, so I definitely had stretches where my confidence was pretty low with these things.
I now realize that I was never afraid of commitment. But I was absolutely unwilling to commit unless I was really damn sure about it. A romantic relationship can obviously be very important and a very positive influence on someone’s life. But it takes work. It takes time, and it takes an ability to be selfless at times. And damn it, there’s a lot of great video games out there. I wasn’t going to abandon them unless I was very sure it would be worth it.
Jesus Christ That Was A Lot Of Details About My Life. I Feel Like A Lifestyle Blogger Now.
I gave you that seven paragraph lore dump to say that, until this past week, I had never played a soulslike game to completion before*. I’ve played Dark Souls 1 and 2. I’ve played Elden Ring (and got past the Fire Giant). I’ve played Bloodborne. I’ve played Lies of P. I enjoyed all of these games… until the point where I didn’t. No matter how much fun I was having, there was always a boss or a runback that I just didn’t want to attempt even one more time.
But there was finally a game that was worth the struggle. This game had me stuck in a certain section for multiple days, and yet I never considered quitting. The game was Hollow Knight: Silksong.
Keep in mind that one of the “soulslikes” that I had failed to complete was the original Hollow Knight because I just couldn’t stomach the backtracking and general feeling of being lost anymore. And yet, Silksong had me hooked within a few hours and never came close to letting go.
After getting through Silksong, I had a bit more clarity about my past with soulslikes, much like dating my wife gave me revelations about how I had handled the thought of a relationship in the past.
I realized that in a lot of soulslikes, I would barely give a game any chance to frustrate me before I bailed on it. As soon as something took me a day, and especially if there was a bad run back, I would be out on it. Lies of P and Nine Sols are two somewhat recent soulslikes that I was enjoying, but one bad runback combined with a very hard sequence made me quit them almost immediately. I think deep down, I was scared that it would take me weeks to get through, and I didn’t even want to potentially let it get to that point. Losing that much time to one single area in one single game is just not how I like to engage with this medium, especially with limited time to game as a parent.
But with Silksong, I just refused to even consider it despite doing it every other time. Silksong was just good enough to actually be worth the investment.
This isn’t to say that Silksong is perfect. There were plenty of things that I really didn’t like about it sometimes. I hated fighting the same sequence of enemies for four days straight. I found exploration to be frustrating at times for the frequent backtracking to get mostly paltry rewards. It’s a fair bit more work here than it is in most games to even get one health upgrade. There were also a few enemy designs that felt like they tested my patience more than my skills (mostly flying enemies). Finally, I wish the Metroidvania map was like 15% more helpful.
Even with all of those complaints, I just couldn’t bear to not see the end of a game with such masterful design. The combat mechanics feel so fast and yet so precise. The momentum of fights feels a lot like real fighting (being aggressive can pay off big time and so can counter punching). The platforming is responsive, varied, and extremely fun. The boss fights are some of my favorite of all time, with unique designs, lots of style, and extremely tough but fair attack patterns. And the game is just covered in a mystique that is tough to describe completely. Everything from the music to the art to the lore to the exploration makes you feel like you have no idea what is going to come next. Sometimes, I didn’t like what would come next, but that sense of danger kind of adds to that exact mystique.
This experience was too damn special to not at least see the end. I’m holding off on pursuing the true ending for now, as I feel like I could burn myself out with some of the requirements. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like I might want to try for it one day. Maybe in seven years right before Team Cherry’s next release, which I predict will be a new IP.
I Guess In The End, This Was Less Of A Review And More Of A Public Therapy Session?
If you want my full thoughts on the game, I recommend checking out the article I wrote last week. I had written my impressions of the game without realizing that I was actually pretty dang close to the end. I can’t say my thoughts have changed much since then. I have a slightly increased appreciation for the game the longer I sit with it, but that’s about it. There are plenty of things about Silksong that I have no desire to experience again, but whenever I was in some of those tough moments, even I was really getting annoyed, I still couldn’t help but be sucked in. It’s a remarkable achievement.
How am I going to explain to my wife that our relationship is a lot like my relationship with a video game?
Score: 9.5/10
*I have completed The Remnant 2, which is considered a soulslike third person shooter of sorts, but I don’t personally view it as truly befitting of that description, even though I enjoyed it a lot.
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